Mac's Musings
Crisis? We’re still banking on you, Mervyn
18/06/2008Alistair Darling
Chancellor of the Exchequer
No 11 Downing St
18 June 2008
Dear Alistair
Sorry
Whoops! Bit of a slip up this month on our inflation figures. Sorry!
Anyway, it was only 0.3% over the odds. OK, 1.3% over your 2% inflation target, but only 0.3% over the 1% drift I'm allowed, if you get my drift. So that's not much more than 1% out......or should that be not much more than 50% out? Oh, I don't know. All these numbers are so confusing. But not a bad result really considering how tricky things are at present.
Mrs King was telling me only this morning over breakfast that asparagus has gone through the roof this year and our last lecky bill was ridiculous. She's bobbing down to Asda later to see if there's a BOGOF deal on my favourite malt whisky. Honestly, I think we'd go potty if we couldn't drown our sorrows in cheap booze.
There's more bad news, I'm afraid. Between you and me, things are going to get worse before they get better. We could be looking at 4% inflation quicker than you can say 'petrol crisis'. But that ball is very much in your court. If you insist on putting up petrol duty you can hardly blame me for not controlling inflation.
Whatever you do, please don't do anything silly like including mortgage repayments in your inflation figures. This would really put the cat amongst the pigeons. In fact, if you could take food, gas and electricity out of the equation for next month it would be a big help. Might even take us below 2% again.
Personally, I blame the High Street banks. They've got us into this mess and it's about time someone took a tough line with them. Is that my job too? Heavens, give me a break. I only took the job for a quiet life and the index-linked pension.
Thank God Friday isn't too far away. Are you up for the usual swifty in one of the House of Commons bars to set us up for the weekend? It's just that the booze is cheap as chips there which should help Mrs King's little economy drive this month. Prudence, prudence!
One more thing - be a darling and don't release this letter to the media vultures. I'll send you the pro forma apology letter when I have a moment.
Cheers!
Mervyn
Mervyn King
(or 'Swervin Mervyn' as they call me down Threadneedle St)
